i feel like im losing her.
what should i do?
it's my fault.
i shouldn't have told her about my demons.
i already apologized for what i did.
i thought she could help me through it,
but i was wrong.
why do they always disappoint me?
they always leave me when im the one having problems.
maybe a certain someone was right.
keep everyone at arms length.
i should have listened
but instead i watched my ass handed to me
its so sad when you expect so much
and at the end, they wouldn't even care...

Mark this day! samahan nyo kong iuntog ang sarili ko sa pader. Magbigti gamit ang cable wires dito sa office. I hope it's strong enough to hold my weight. Uminom ng lason, preferably diet pills para sexy ako sa burol ko.

How can I be this stupid?! Ako and humukay ng sarili kong libingan. Naghubad sa harap ng madla. I feel so naked in front of him. He knows everything!!! Worse is... I promised not to change.

I was happy before then the shit hits the fan. BOOM! My life is OVER!

I have so many things to say about my weekend. Sa sobrang dami ng happenings I think I'm gonna be sick. I'll tell you all about it part by part and once I have the pics to back it up. For the meantime, let's plan my activities this coming weekend.

On saturday, I won't be doing anything important but to run some errands... La la la la... 

I'm going to meet my co-members on peyupi.com this sunday. I'm soooo excited. Gateway is the place to be, at exactly 4pm. DAMN! I hope I'll be on time. Lagi akong late ng mga meet namin lately ng ibang ko pang friends. Feeling ko sinusumpa na nila ako ayaw lang nila aminin.

(Tingin sa calendar)

Shit!!! Sa Wednesday pa pala ang payday! LORD! sana magkasya ang pera akech. I'm so low in cash right now. I was planning to buy Larae and Renneth a gift for their birthday since they have been  so good to me, they deserved to be pampered. Kaso mukhang drawing na lang yun.

Gotta cut some expenses. Cable is a necessity, gym too. Facial... Dine out... Movies... DVDs... Wow! wala ata akong pede i-give up. Siguro kailangan magkuripot. Lagi na nga akong nililibre sa lakaran gipit pa din. OUCH! Ako ay isang DUKHA!

Ano ba title nito? hehehe...

How do you tell someone that you want to stop seeing or talking to them?

I wish I knew. It's not my place to tell my friend that my other friend doesn't want him to be her textmate anymore. My apologies for giving him too many textmates and all of them knew each other. Ang impression kasi nila ng textmate is potential bf and he has to be perfect or something close to that. 

Isang araw habang wala ako sa opis...

TUKLING: Girl ay naku bakit naman kasi magbibigay lang ng textmate ano pa...

BAKEKANG: Bakit anong meron?

TUKLING: eh kasi yun nga nakita ko na sya... blah.. blah.. blah... lait... lait...

SI BAKEKANG naturn-off...

BAKEKANG: Sige sayo na lang sya.

Parang candy lang hehehe...

The next day she stopped texting him...

TUKLING: bakla, di ka na daw nagtetext sabi nya... dahil ba sa sinabi ko?

OO noh! wish ko lang hinayaan mo sila magmeet... I know bigboy na yung friend ko and sometimes gusto kong kumanta ng lahat ng sinasabi mo. But I wouldn't... konsensya mo na yun...

BAKEKANG: hindi bakla, di naman sya nagtetext.

Isa ka pa... sinungaling. I wish you have the decency to at least tell him yourself. Text na nga lang ganyanan pa...

Hay naku... EWAN!!!